HEERLEN, THE NETHERLANDS - Well, it’s official: Twenty-five year-old schoolteachers with big juugs in something called “The Netherlands” — which may consist of Holland and some other idyllic places where you can smoke your weight in The Marijuana while legally paying for The Fornication with a prostitute made entirely of tulips and weed — are [...]

Continue Reading HOT, BUSTY NETHERLANDER DISCOVERS “COSMIC GHOST”; BUSH ADMINISTRATION MAKES FRANTIC CALL TO GHOSTBUSTERS

The New York Times reported today that, as hard as this might be to believe if you’re a fucking adult and expect that maybe your elected government officials are also fucking adults and perhaps should behave accordingly, the Bush Administration has reached the point where it simply won’t read communications it knows will get its [...]

Continue Reading POLICYSPAM : BUSH IGNORES E.P.A. E-MAIL PROMISING CLEAN AIR AND BIGGER PENISES

MOSCOW - Russian president Vladimir “Vee Heff Vays Uff Mecking You Tok” Putin celebrated the 50th anniversary of Sputnik’s launch today by firing a rocket into deep space crammed full of troublesome reporters still under the impression that Russian has a free press. We wouldn’t have known about this anniversary if it weren’t for Google’s [...]

Continue Reading RUSSIA CELEBRATES SPUTNIK ANNIVERSARY; LAUNCHES FREE PRESS INTO SPACE